Aiming for Zero Compliments in Japanese
"Wow, you're good at speaking Japanese!"
Ah.. there it is.
What is wrong with me, why do I hate that so much? I obviously have some weird complex or something, but that's beside the point... let me try and say my take on it.
Perhaps it is because I haven't said anything yet. Perhaps it is because the person, obviously meaning well, would NEVER say that to another Japanese person.... really, it means "you're good at speaking japanese (for a foreigner!) and I hate it.
Whenever I'm complimented , I try hard to make a stupid joke.
At my company's bo-nen-kai (remember what that means, faithful blog readers? ^^) I said
"Kyra desu, yoroshiku onegaishimasu". (I'm Kyra, nice to meet you).
My coworker looked impressed and said
"Nihongo umai desu ne!" (You're good at speaking japanese, aren't you?)
Eh, I thought he might say that. Come ON, I work in your company, what were you expecting, I couldn't say hello?) heh. SO I said jokingly
"mada nanimo ittenai desu kedo..." which means, "Really? But I haven't said anything yet..."
...this little utterance which I said without even thinking about it floored my colleagues and made the coworker who said that turn red and change the subject.
Score one for Kyra!
Another time I'm rather proud of is when I started going to volleyball practice. It was my first time, and during the break between games I was chatting with one of my new aquaintances. I think I was talking about how stressful it can be working in a company where there are like five levels of politeness and I'm not sure exactly how polite I'm supposed to be to whom. She was very sweet and said "I don't know what you're worried about, your Japanese is very good, especially your pronunciation" (ok, that is a nice compliment because it was within context and was something I was worried about, I was happy to hear it. ...maybe I am just weird).
But then about six other people all started saying "Yes, your speech is very pretty."
"Pretty, huh"
"Yes, really pretty."
"Definitely pretty".
It was about this time I was thinking: Ahh, make them stop! I have to think of something!!!
"Oh, you're talking about my face, right? OH HO HO HO HO! " I said in that dumb high pitch laugh.
THe volleyball players stopped short, looked at each other, and went back into practice. I'm one hundred percent sure they were thinking "What an idiot". And yet, I'm still rather proud of that time... ^_~
Anyways, the way I feel about compliments in japanese is, the fewer I get, the more progress I'm making. When I visited Eriko the very first time I ever came to Japan and I only knew seven words (hello, goodbye, yes, no, sorry, thanks and ...bear ), I got complimented every time I said something. I mean it, I think I spilled something in a restaurant and said "SOrry!" probably with a weird accent, and the waiter who came to clean it up said "Nihongo umai desu ne!"
But these days, once we get past the fact that I can say hello just fine, thank you, and I am a businesswoman at NEC where I do nothing but speak japanese all day, I get decidedly fewer compliments, and I can't tell you how glad I am. In fact, it's the opposite. If someone is strict and corrects what I say, I am pretty much the most grateful person you'll ever see.
Does anyone else have this strange anti-compliment complex?
-Troubled in Tokyo